ten year reunion, five year reunion
by burn my mind
Summary: they don't know how they became the non judging breakfast club and they don't know how they fell apart. NJBC. AU after season two.


**Title: **ten year reunion, five year reunion.

**Summary: **they don't know how they became the non judging breakfast club and they don't know how they fell apart. NJBC. AU after season two.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

* * *

I.

It's been five years since they all saw each other, and even now as they circulate around their high school reunion they ignore each other.

The last time they saw each other they had been twenty three, as careless as when they were thirteen, breaking everything that was in their reach and tearing each others hearts out just for fun.

Now they're twenty eight and all grown up, successful jobs and families and _boring_. The four of them all (secretly) long for the times where they used to laugh freely, never decide on the right movie, have popcorn fights and have group make out sessions.

Yet like everything good in life it crashed and burned and ran its course.

They all fought, all screamed, all shrieked, and all cried as they parted with their final goodbyes; none of them could stay after what had happened, they all needed a break, even if it meant that the non judging breakfast club were over.

Even if it mean that the non judging breakfast club were the judging breakfast club.

* * *

II.

Blair Waldorf is a lawyer and is married to another lawyer, they have two children and they attend society events and live in New York and live the perfect life she's dreamed for since she was a child but it's not _enough_. Not anymore, not after everything she's ever seen and felt firsthand.

It sounds stupid but Blair wants the pain, the drama, the hurt, the heart crushing sort of pain that leaves you breathless. It's insane, crazy, stupid, because who wants to have a life that's a roller-coaster when they have a calm, easy, _simple_ life.

Serena's always wanted simple and yet she's always gotten crazy. Even now she's got the crazy life, a supermodel who flies all over the globe, flashing dizzying smiles at the cameras and breaking hearts all over the world as she kisses and tells and leaves. She wants easy, simple, calm, but she can't have that.

It's on and off with her manager, it's a will they won't they, when will they, can they just sort out their differences sort of relationship. It's unhealthy, she doesn't know if she loves him like she's loved others in the past but they've got a baby in the way; so when he presented her with a ring she accepted. Lily never wanted a grandchild to be born a _bastard_ anyway.

Nate Archibald wanted simple and he got simple yet he finds himself aching for crazy. Not the crazy crazy but the passionate kind of crazy that you need someone or want something so badly you would _die _for it. He wants drama and excitement and gossip and crazy rumors that make him hang his head in shame.

He got the dream life, a beautiful wife who knew nothing about his previous life and a baby boy that looks so much like him it hurts. He runs a newspaper business and it's successful, only printing the truth and he's making millions. He's gotten everything he's always wanted, what everybody else has always wanted for him. Minus the politics aspect but he doesn't care for politics, never has, never will.

Chuck's always been wild, crazy, insane, always told himself he wanted that life. The fast track life, always moving, but even when he had it he didn't want it. He longed for acceptance, for a _normal _life. Even though he knew he could never live a normal sort of life, not by normal standards at least. Now that he has that life he longs for that old life, the bachelor lifestyle where he did what he wanted and didn't care what anybody thought; except maybe his father.

But Bart's dead now and Chuck's running Bass Industries and his name is in the papers, his face is plastered on the magazines, it's him everyone's praising. He even has a god damn family, all he can think about is if Bart could see him now as he holds his fiancee's hand and guides her through his high school reunion nervously, she didn't know about his past life.

* * *

III.

It's fake smiles all night long. Conversations that seem to drag on forever and polite niceties that mean nothing.

Sometimes their eyes flick to one another, hidden secrets, hidden agendas, hidden lies buried deep beneath the surface of a pretty smile and a hollow laugh.

Because Blair's Blair, she had to organize this whole reunion down to the very last T., and so of course she would want everybody to get up on stage and give a six minute long speech about their past life and present life.

Serena suspects it's because Blair wants to brag about her new found happiness, her new found perfectness. Serena can't blame her, she's stalked her once best friend enough times to know what her life is like. Blair's finally gotten the life she's always dreamed of, the picket white fence and prince charming fairytale.

It used to be Nate cast in the leading role and she knows that Blair even put Marcus as the leading man once or twice. Chuck never got a starring role, Blair had once claimed to her it was because she used to dream of Cinderella (minus the poor part, ew, she wasn't the one who wanted to marry someone from _Brooklyn_!) and Snow White. She didn't want to dream of Romeo and Juliet, where the leading lady and leading man both die because their love is too powerful.

Serena can still feel the tears burning through her skin as Blair cried in her lap after everything feel apart with Chuck. Soon after that everything else started falling apart in all their lives and one thing lead to another and suddenly it was all over; the friendship they had carried with them since they were in Kindergarten had vanished. They all moved on, without each other.

"Nate Archibald," It's the first name that's been called that she recognizes, that she _cares _for. She feels Richard's hand wrap around hers as her eyes follow Nate up onto the podium. Her heart is beating faster than ever because she misses Nate, she doesn't even know how they fell apart. One day they were and the next they weren't.

"Hey guys, uh, for those of you who didn't actually go to St. Judes or Constance, or did and don't remember me," _As if _that could ever happen, everybody knew Nate freaking perfect Archibald, "I'm Nate Archibald-"

Serena stops listening after that because she doesn't really want to hear what he has to say, a practiced speech that doesn't really show who he is. If she wants to hear how his life is, she'll ask him herself, (even if she won't ever really talk to him again, she's too scared because she knows it was her that messed them up.)

* * *

IV.

The reunion ends as quickly as it started and Blair is eager to get home, to get away from this hell.

But as fate would have it she ends up running into Chuck on the way out, (why him? couldn't it be _anyone_ else? Nate? Serena? but no of course it had to be the one who shattered her heart and scattered it all over New York City.)

Her husband knows all of this mystery figure, he never learned of a name, or a face, so when Blair freezes in her place as Chuck's hand brushes past her arm he has no idea why.

She feigns stupidity, innocence, of course. She doesn't know him, he must be accompanying an old peer.

"Blair," She hears the name catch in his throat, and she doesn't even have to look at him to spot the tears welling in his eyes.

It's always been the same, he broke her but they destroyed each other mutually. The two of them would never come out of the mess they called a relationship alive, one, if not both would end up dead and broken.

"Bass." She states harshly, coldly, but he catches it, that layer underneath it; the softness, the innocence, the childishness, the broken bit.

It's just formal pleasantries, it would be _rude_ not to acknowledge each other.

That's all it is, that's all. That's what they tell themselves over and over and over again, because five years changes nothing.

Five fucking years changes everything.

* * *

V.

Nate and Serena both wind up at the bar, partners long lost. Sabrina's on the phone with the babysitter outside and Richard's flirting up a storm.

Serena's twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger, it's shorter now, but it shines bright than it ever has before.

Nate keeps stealing glimpses, glances, of the girl he once loved. The girl he once would of died for, it seems stupid to think that the two of them would ever work out when they started out on lies and deceit.

They hurt Blair first, and then Dan.

They managed to hurt everyone to get what they wanted - each other.

They managed to hurt themselves in the end for getting what they wanted; they were more alike to Chuck and Blair then the two of them ever wanted to admit.

The two blondes were meant to be the civil ones out of the four, peacekeepers, the ones able to maintain the friendships, put the past in the past. Now they can barely spare each other a glance as Nate tips back drink after drink and Serena sips quietly on her orange juice.

He doesn't know how many times he's opened his mouth just to clamp it back down again like a fish.

He's an idiot, why can't he say hello?

_Because she tore your heart in half_, that's_ why_.

Sabrina's back before he even has time to register the fact, she's smiling and she laughs as she leans down to peck his lips slightly, frowning when she tastes the vodka. Sabrina _didn't_ drink, it's one of the things he likes most about her.

Serena drank, Sabrina didn't.

That's what he liked about it.

"Sorry," He says out of habit, he's not really. She shakes it off as if it's nothing, she thinks she can feel someone watching them, she turns around to find a blonde girl staring at them slightly. She remembers her name being Serena? Something like that from her speech.

Party girl, drugs, sex, that's the life that girl lived.

"Nate? Hey! I didn't even see you there!" The blonde's gushing, standing up and wrapping her long limbs all over Nate. Sabrina feels a pang of jealousy, Nate had a life before she came along, one that she wasn't apart of.

"Oh. Hey Serena, this is, uh, Sabrina." Nate awkwardly introduces the two girls and begs for a way out of this.

Some excuse about Harry is made and he's leaving with Sabrina and thanking the heavens. Sabrina asks nothing about Serena, and he's glad because he couldn't lie to her.

* * *

VI.

Chuck and Serena are the last ones left apart of their group of four.

They've seen each other briefly since they all split, you know, family obligations and all. Once a year at Bart's grave or that odd time or two when he's with Lily and she'll be there.

He hasn't spoken a single word to her though, no, he loathes Serena almost as much as he detests Nate and despises Blair.

(He doesn't _really_ despise Blair, he can't ever hate her, no matter how many times he's tried too.)

Dolly's off talking to someone, a teacher maybe? He doesn't really give a fuck anymore, he orders a scotch and finishes it off within a second. He hated high school, he wouldn't of come back if it wasn't for Dolly's incessant begging and pleading after she found an invite stashed in a drawer.

He orders another scotch, drowns it off and steals a quick glance at Serena.

He's heard all about her. Lily talks about her as if she was an _angel_, which she wasn't. Her face is plastered everywhere, every magazine, every news channel, Entertainment Tonight.

He thinks he might never get over what happened between him, it cut him in half, made him feel worthless. Which, of course, he was. It pains him to think that he _misses _them, the vile creatures that tore him apart.

(He tore them apart too, but he doesn't admit that.)

And because Serena's Serena and all she wants is peace and happiness and she feels like she needs to do the right thing, she opens her mouth. It'll be easiest to talk with Chuck. She doesn't love him like she loves Nate, she doesn't love him like she loves Blair.

"Hey Chuck," She attempts weakly, just because she doesn't love him like she loves Nate or Blair doesn't mean that she doesn't love him; he ignores her, breaking her heart in the process.

He gets up and leaves after that, finding Dolly and telling her that they need to go. He can't be here another second, running into Blair was bad enough, Serena's voice just about broke him. He needs to leave before he finds Nate.

* * *

VII.

Serena ended up breaking down and calling Nate and because Nate's Nate and he wants to always do the right thing, be a better person, he got Chuck and Blair over.

The four of them are now in the middle of central park, freezing their asses off, backs against the grass, eyes directed up at the starry night sky. Their lives weren't meant to turn out like this, where they were strangers because of a fight that had gone out of control and so they had all stopped speaking furthering the hatred. They were meant to have each others backs, they were meant to be best friends forever.

They had stopped into a gas station store, for the first time ever, and had brought everything that was bad for you. They would only have this one night together, after that they had to go back to the lives they had now. Blair's hand dips back into the chip packet, greedily bringing one up to her lips. She could count on one hand the number of times she had eaten chips.

They talk about old memories, past flings and crazy mishaps that had happened over the years.

Somehow Serena's hand winds up in Nate's hand.

Somehow Blair's lips wind up on Chuck's lips.

It doesn't really matter. It'll always be the four of them, even if they hate each other, even if they'll go back to normal lives and daily routines. They need one night to feel like themselves, to feel _worth _something. They try to all ignore the fact that they have families, jobs, people, that they're hurting right now.

Serena's Serena and she doesn't care, she wants to be able to care. She came back from boarding school telling herself that she would change, that she would be better, that she would _care_. But she's Serena, she's programmed to think of only herself even when she wants to think of others.

Nate's Nate and he's meant to be the good guy. He's meant to do the right thing, he's never done the right thing when it's come to a certain golden headed goddess. He'll lie and cheat to be with her, if only for a second. He'll destroy everything dear just to see her smile, to see her tilt her head back laughing _because of him_.

Blair's Blair and she's meant to be the best of them all. The perfect one, who can do no harm. Yet she might be the worst of them, inflicting pain on unsuspecting victims because they're wearing _tights_ as _pants_. The horror. She knows it's wrong, that it's not right. This isn't who she is anymore but he's a drug and she can't ever get enough of him.

Chuck's Chuck and he's been bad since the very start. Nobody expects any better of him and those who know him now don't really even know him. He doesn't feel guilty, he doesn't even care. It's all he's wanted since he was sixteen years old and once upon a time he had it, then he lost it and now he has it again if only for a moment.

Because they're the non judging breakfast club.

They may of fallen apart because of fights and deathly silences that made them turn on one another it doesn't mean they aren't friends. That they aren't each others one true love.

"I've really _really _missed all of you." Blair states as her eyes flutter close as she drifts off to sleep, the three of them have to haul her back to Chuck's limo and arrive her to her townhouse in the morning. Her husband questions them sharply, because Blair's drunk off her ass and he's been worrying all night about her.

"She was with _friends_. Catching up, we haven't seen her for five fucking years," Serena angrily replies as she grabs at her hair. She's the only sober one, she hates that fact. She's always been the drunk girl, the wild, the reckless and now she's the one having to explain everything.

The four of them don't know how they became friends and they don't know how they fell apart.


End file.
